Secret Sunshine
by sunnysideup09
Summary: Are you ready to atone before your last hour falls? NaruSaku. One-shot.


**Secret Sunshine**

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_Do you think we can go back now… to the way it used to be?_

He asked that question to her over and over again in his mind while lying flat against the dirt. His face was turned to her, and although it was a bit caked with mud and blood, she could still see through his eyes of ocean his pureness, his innocence, just him. The rain… it was washing their pain, their anguish and suffocation away one by one at the battleground. They had laid all their selfishness and judgments down as soon as their bodies had hit the ground, and for a long time, neither of them spoke to each other from the distance. Only the raging wind became vocal – howling and tearing the tree branches apart with its shrieks. It was over, they knew. It was all over.

She gazed into his eyes deeply like as if she could bore a hole through it. Their chapter was done, and broken pieces of paper could never be mended together again. She let the cool rain shower over her, slowly surrendering inch of her strength over to feel refreshed. It had been ages since she felt the rain come back to her, though this wasn't the way she wanted it to be. There was no beauty in this rain- only tear drops heavily, heavenly falling in its futile attempt to fight gravity. She kept telling him through her weak eyes still holding the dreams of the endless pasture, where she could run freely without feeling weary, without looking back and regretting….

_I want to go back to that place we first met… do you remember? Remember…?_

He watched her lying still on the ground like him while letting memories crawl through his now useless body. All those times he had spent with her, all those happiness and days of joy, grueling hard work, and innocent excitement seemed like they just passed by so quickly. They felt so meaningless now that they both had foolishly ended the on-going strife that seemed to have flowed for ages.

What she didn't tell him was this: that she loved him for years. She was too afraid to say it to his face, letting her fears swallow her whole. For years, she was cruel to him, for years, she never said one kind word to him. And now, it was hopeless; she barely had strength to draw sound to her voice, and neither did he. They both could barely breathe, could barely utter a word.

She wanted to make amends.

So did he.

They both watched each other, never minding the fact that dirt mixed with drops of water was splattering into their eyes and slipping in to their lips, never minding the season, the ground rumbling from the sound of ninjas rushing to now find them slowly dissipating, melting away into the mud.

He stared at her with a frail, but gentle smile dawning upon his face. She wanted to look away from his eyes out of shame, out of her very own foolishness. She had started this mess and wanted to end it, but not like this… not with him while letting his pride being trampled by those pitying eyes of the other shinobi who came too late…

_I just wish we could, Sakura-chan… _

_Me too, you idiot, me too…._

Drops of tears were rolling down to the side of her face like the falling stars against the velvet night sky she had seen with him on those endless nights of pursuing difficult targets… running, just running against the violent currents of the wind. And now, she wanted to shed away from her body and run to avoid his eyes piercing through her soul. She wanted to drop everything and run away, but his eyes kept her captive here on earth, where there was still rain that could never be taken back to the sky once more. The clouds were grudgingly roaring against her wishes, her every minute of thoughts of wanting escape, and nothing more. She squeezed the remaining strength into her fists white biting her lips bitterly at the boy who was grinning so happily, so stupidly.

_I just want to see you smile. Can you? _

She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see his eyes, though dimly lit, still shining with his boyish charms and sincerity. Were those tears falling down from her eyes, or was it just the rain?

_Idiot... you idiot..._

He watched her. Even from that long distance, even though she could no longer use her body like him to send body languages, he could still read her mind, feel her fears and doubts that had cut through her soul to inflict the deep would that seemed to be incurable for a long time. So why did he like such a woman with internal turmoil? The woman who cursed at him, and finally managed to slay him? The answer was written across his soul- he didn't know why. Even though she placed on his shoulders with burdens and eternal wounds in the world, he was still in love with her.

Funny thing- he was able to slay her too, and she accepted that. After throwing fire after fire, the inevitable result had wormed its way out to the two people alike who wanted nothing but a simple dream and happiness held in their chests. How did it end out to be like this? Her simple act had allowed fate to tarnish her soul, squirm her way into darkness, and rot to the bitter ends while gnashing her teeth to the one she loved finally, the one whom she finally realized was the one. What made her feel so insecure in him, and cut away all the thread of trust from him? She realized that she was a fool, an insane fool falling into such traps….

_Why did we ever do that?_

She finally succumbed to the words she wanted to say to him for a long time, but it was slipping away to the wide pool of foul, crimson blood gathered around her forlorn body.

_I'm sorry… sorry..._

It looped over and over again in her mind.

He still kept his smile.

_Sakura-chan… it's my fault for being so careless…. _

_This isn't what I wanted… at least, not with you like this…_

Drops, one by one…. They had started to halt. The storm clouds which had clashed from their raging heads dissipated slowly, falling away until rays of light seeped through from the darkness. Her eyes were jades of envy, feeling hopeless and frail against all her strength, her whim through this hour that could never give them one more spare minute, at least one single second. She envied him for staying strong for her, for smiling at such time when there was nothing to smile about. What was he so thankful about? Why did he have such lightness which calmed her raging soul against the nearly disappearing storm? The chaos, all their havoc was thrashed upon the ground, all finally withering away back into the deep underground.

Death was their perfume...

All her dreams and hopes were brittle dusts in the wind. But at least, she had one wish within her heart. Perhaps it was selfish, and perhaps it was too much, but at least she wanted it now more than anything in the world. Even more than life itself.

_Do you think I can go with you?_

_Sakura-chan…_

She gazed into his eyes earnestly and he could see her smile through the rays of light descending upon her now calm, soothing face.

_Take me with you too, so I can be with you… that is, if you'd let me…_

She read his mind clearly, and finally, like water. The final wisps of storm clouds were gone, only leaving the sun to play peak-a-boo against the soft clouds with feathery ends. They knew that they were both going to soar away from their bodies, away, together… but just before their lives could end, they wanted to make it right.

_At least, in the end, I'm with you… together… _

_Sorry, Sakura-chan… and…_

_And… _

"I," he lipped the shape of the letter.

"I," she mirrored him back, and then they both rolled their tongues together, pushing it near their teeth to say…

"Love you…"

The sun hid itself again and again through the clouds. Its stream of light faltered away and then came back once more as it carefully touched the reaching hands of the tea pink haired girl and blonde boy, whose vacant eyes were half closed, never leaving the sight of each other… smiling…

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A/N: Maybe I should stop writing about tragedies for a while. Be sure to make amends with the person you've held your grudge to, because any day can be your last. You don't know where or how the situation had started, but at least, you'll know how it ends if you make your step forward. Somewhat of an abstract story, I think, with symbols... I kind of thought about this while writing "Death Wish," wondering if this could be the alternate ending. Well, as you can see, that was crossed off the list, and became a short story.


End file.
